Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Diminishing Authority of Wifedom

Allow me a moment of frustration here.

I am Mr. Brooke's wife. We are equal in the eyes of God, we are in a civil contract of union, we live in the same house and share our money and the upraising of our children.

But, because I have no "real occupation," I cannot qualify for basically anything (not even my own cell phone, I needed my bacon-bringer-homer to set that one up for me). I understand the reasons behind this, and it really would be OK with me if I could have some amount of access to the stuff that he qualifies for.

He may earn the money, but I literally pay the bills and I need to be able to access our accounts.

So a big, fat, sarcastic THANK YOU to everyone who has made this daily part of my life so difficult--hackers, ID stealers, terrorists, spiteful ex-wives...thanks so much for making simple tasks like paying bills extraordinarily harder. You suck.

Now excuse me, I have to rifle through stacks of statements and itemize them for Mr. Brooke to phone and set up some glorified "account access" for his wife. Oh, but wait, everyone closes at 5pm and he won't be able to get through anyway, so basically I'm going to go waste my time organizing something that won't be able to be done.

I try to expound the virtues of being a full-time homemaker, but it's daily stuff like this that make me feel like I do not exist beyond my front door. Seriously--just because I don't bring home a paycheck does not mean that I'm a second class citizen. Children and pets get more respectful treatment than the women who raise them.

And perhaps all you snarky "customer service representatives" should consider that I also control where our accounts are held...one word from me and you will lose our business because, even though my husband makes the money, I'm the one that manages it. Respect the homemakers. (Although, of course, this is a rather empty threat because I can't close the account or open up a new one somewhere else...but I do turn the head of the person who can, so in 6-8 weeks [or however long it takes for him to catch a business during its business hours], you really could lose our business.)


  1. When I was married, my mom warned me to make sure that all accounts were set up jointly. It has saved us a lot of trouble.

    I bought a car after college, and I wanted to get a loan for it even though I could pay cash because I wanted to establish credit. They wouldn't let my mom co-sign for me because she wasn't employed even though she had over 30 years of perfect credit. And this is for a loan that I already had the money for!

    She was about to pull out her power of attorney when they decided I could have the loan without a co-sign if they held my money as collateral. Crazy.

  2. Yes, I hate that, too! I wish that a couple could elect to have an equal, joint account - and suffer the consequences if the relationship goes South (i.e. your ex-wife comment). Why can't people have accountability for their choices anymore? If they realized that things like this were risks, then stupid privacy laws wouldn't have to be so strictly integrated into every stinkin' account.

  3. rawr! tell us! why have a blog if not for an outlet for venting?

    it is rather impressive that you're able to effectively link terrorism, exwives, and customer service folks. bravo!

  4. I think I dodged a bullet here. When I was single I had all the accounts set up already--Sean was still a college student and when we got married I added HIM to many of the accounts. However, none of those people need to know that he's the worker now and not me and we've never had these problems. Whew for me. Sucky for you though. Stick it to the man.

  5. i go through the SAME thing and it drives me nuts!!!!!! i truely hate is as much a you do. luckily i do have somethings in my name(from the college days)- and when he complains about accsessing them i tell him- NOW YOU KNOW WHAT I GO THROUGH!!! and he gives me a funny look..... oh well- someday it might change....


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