Monday, November 10, 2008

The Year of Health

This is my big focus right now. When the 2009 school year begins next autumn, I plan to be in a healthy place. And not just physically and nutritionally, but spiritually, emotionally and psychologically as well. Anything that could detract from my mission is flat-out refused, and when I recognize something in my life that is distracting me from my goals, it goes out the window as well.

This is my season to change to healthier habits.

I have taken on my humiliating stubborn weight gain and now weigh in at 45 pounds less than my six-week check-up weight. (About 25 of those pounds have been shed since the beginning of August.) I'm incredibly pleased with myself over this fat cell butt-kicking thing I've got going on here and plan to reach my goal weight by next August. Things are going well in that department. (And to satisfy your curiosity, I have 40 pounds left to lose.)

My spiritual health is getting a bit of an overhaul. I've generally been rather good about reading my scriptures regularly, writing in my journal intermittedly and praying at least once a day...but I'm finding that it's definitely not enough anymore. My life gets more challenging by the day, and I'm finding that my abilities (super as they are...hee hee) are, more and more often, falling short of what I want to accomplish. I'm getting a huge lesson in mortal limitations; but, happily, there is a bright lining in that you overcome that glitch by simply holding hands with Deity and working together on the things that actually matter. (Him and I don't see eye-to-eye on that subject sometimes, and that's hard for me to work through on occasion!) I'm working incredibly hard to go to the temple more and to pray intently every morning and every night. And I'm trying to stop whatever it is that I'm doing anytime I think that the Spirit is whispering to me, and really paying attention. I feel a whole lot more peace right now than I have in a very long time.

Emotional and psychological health fall into that "too much information" category for me to really talk about online (well, anymore than I've already shared), but it suffices me to say that those two little buggers require a lot of work if you're trying to make them better, which can get incredibly frustrating! But it's worth it in the long run, so I'm going to keep moving forward. This has brought an enormous amount of peace to my heart as well. It's sad that there are so many people in this world who have been hurt so deeply who think that it's their fault. And it's even sadder that it's near impossible to show them that it wasn't their fault at all. *sigh* Sometimes it feels like the only thin shred of hope that can keep me going is the knowledge that, eventually, everything will be taken care of so that the outcome will be satisfactory to me. It may not be in this life, but that day will eventually appear, some folks will get beaten with clubs made of sandpaper and everything will be solved and neatly sewn up. Ta-da!

There are so many things that I want to do right now, but my Year of Health requires me to pull back with Ironman strength upon the reins. The Reading Through History book club is now in the hands of another (incredibly capable, and admirably enthusiastic) blogger. I've deleted some of my superfluous blogs. I've pulled out of a couple of other activities that required a lot of my mental attentions. I'm wrestling down my desire to start up a Daisy Girl Scout troop for Bluebird (that one is not pinning easily...but there will be time for it next year, no worries.) Holidays and birthdays will be down-sized to an almost pathetic degree, but I have peace when I think about it. The garden--forget the heirloom varieties and homemade fertilizers, it's going to be all about hybrids and Miracle-Gro.

I wonder sometimes if the simplification of my life will inevitably make me seem a little dull to others, but then I remind myself that life has got to be far, far better as a healthy, albeit "only normal," person than as an overwhelmingly interesting, yet completely stressed-out, person. I guess I'm about to find out.

It's all about finding peace and being happy to be me.

4 comments:

  1. Go for it! You don't have to knit all your family's own socks and grow your own bananas to be interesting and fulfilled. For me, it's just comforting to see that there are other people out there who can't or don't choose to do everything.

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  2. I promise that you'll still be a very fun and interesting person, even if you use Miracle-Gro! :-)

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  3. i think its awesome that you have the courage to do things for YOU and not because that is what others think you should do, or whatever. the more i do that the happier i am. but it is hard, i wanna be super mom too! but we cant be super mom if we are secretly dying inside, good luck! now i just need to get myself in gear- if this pregnancy doesnt put me on bedrest first! :0

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  4. You have never in your life been dull-- it won't happen now, either

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Comments make me happy! Thanks for sharing!